The Gift of Friendships Abroad

“Tekrardan merhaba” — hello once again!
Disclaimer: Google Translate and a very kind friend contributed to the translation of the previous sentence, as my Turkish is regrettably still “iyi değil” (not up to par).

It’s apt that my friend so thoughtfully contributed to the introductory sentence of this blog post since the content relates to the subject of friendship.  

My spring semester in Istanbul was a magical, scintillating adventure, made even more compelling because of its enigmatic and short duration.

What an incredible and surreal gift to travel to 15 countries in just a few months, meet the loveliest people, gain beautiful friendships and connect to my faith at such a deep level. I never would have expected such rich blessings. 

In June, I said goodbye to my new friends before my parents visited and returned home with me to Dallas. A little over two months later, my flight touched down once again on Turkish soil.

Emerging onto the Haliç metro platform at dusk, it was as if time had frozen and nothing had changed since I left Turkey in June. Yet changes had occurred during the two months I was at home in the United States: 

When did Caffe Nero (a coffee chain reminiscent of Lucky Lab or Starbucks) open a store in Balat? Uber was scant last semester but now seemed ubiquitous. What else had changed in such a short time?  

This question — and a general lack of processing time between my spring and fall semesters — prompted an internal pressure to do, see and experience everything I failed to experience last semester.

Dolmabahçe Palace on the first Sunday afternoon back in the city? Check. Saturday night exploration of Galata and the Cihangir neighborhood? Done. Boğaziçi’s student activities fair on a Tuesday at 1 p.m.? It felt a little overstimulating, but why not?  

The word selection of “failure” in the previous paragraph is curious. Was it a failure to not visit these places during the spring semester — or simply an appropriate choice?   

When I first applied to the study abroad program in Istanbul, one of my professors at The University of Texas at Austin (who is, incidentally, Turkish and previously attended Boğaziçi) stressed the importance of not being afraid to fail. Though I took my professor’s lesson to heart, it quickly fell by the wayside as my perceived personal failures encroached.   

A couple of weeks ago, nearly two years after my professor at UT Austin had delivered such profound advice, another professor at the university where I’m studying in Boğaziçi spoke about failure and the value of making mistakes. He stressed the importance of imperfection, giving me a renewed perspective on my fear of missing out on valuable experiences.   

I realized the past three weeks I’ve spent in Istanbul should not have to be perfect for this blog post to impart meaning. The pressure I was putting on myself to “make the most of my time for the blog” is untenable at best but also unfair, as it overshadows some of the truly beautiful experiences that have occurred organically.   

Catching moments of reprieve between classes while sipping on steaming kahve (coffee) and enjoying açma (fluffy bagel-like pastries) on my balcony as birds swirl around in a sherbet-colored sky, as well as heartwarming moments spent reminiscing with old friends and meeting new ones: These are the memories I will carry of Istanbul — not the memories of perceived failures or internal pressure.   

Below are some descriptions of the old and new friends who have brought joy into my life during the past few weeks:   

• My friend, Ş, a native Istanbulian who was unbelievably generous, took me out for patlıcan kebab (eggplant kebab) and sightseeing a few days after I landed.Ş is such a warm and vibrant person. We had originally bonded after being the only two travelers on a bus from Tirana to Ohrid, and it was delightful to see her again after my return. 

• The history-buff taxi driver who used a translation app to tell me about the edifices in Istanbul’s Fatih neighborhood and was so proud of his neighborhood that he offered to show me the historical sites free of charge.  

• Three people Greek-style dancing and singing outside of the Şişli Cevahir mall last Saturday at dusk. Their joy and effusiveness were palpable, and they were belting out the notes with abandon amid a crowd of locals at the bus stop.  

• The locals who stepped out of the bus to help guide traffic after the DT1 and DT2 buses got stuck going opposite ways on a narrow street. A group of five or six men (plus several curious onlookers) attempted to assist the buses, and it became such a touching and humorous moment.  

• Another friend, G, is a kind and conscientious person — a true gem — and never fails to make me laugh. We became friends last semester and were finally able to hang out again a couple of weeks ago at the park. The views of the Bosphorus from the park were incredible, and it was so special to watch the locals mingle as the sky turned a dusty blue.  

• The fırın (bakery) workers in my neighborhood. There are two bakery options, and the owners and managers of both always make my day better, either through their welcoming smiles and generosity (often giving free items to customers out of the kindness of their hearts) or their willingness to hold conversations in broken (on my end) Turkish.  

• The security person who always says “Ohhhh!” in recognition when he sees me, then, “Nasılsın?” or “How are you?” My interactions with him always brighten my mornings.  

• The Beşiktaş soccer fans who led a galvanizing chant one Thursday night, surrounded by fellow fans in striped jerseys at restaurants blasting the team’s anthem. The tailgating atmosphere was a close second to Bevo Boulevard, and it was hilarious to watch passersby stop to mouth the lyrics and clap along.  

• Everyone who helped me vote while abroad. The taxi driver who told me about his family in Sariyer and cracked jokes about visiting the U.S. while driving to the American Consulate. The consulting business across the street was incredibly generous and provided free staples, scissors and great conversation while I attempted to stitch together an envelope for the ballot. 

• The classmates who have offered to facilitate my transition to Bogazici or who have translated sentences from Turkish into English. The students at Bogazici are really affable and gracious, and their geniality has made all the difference in my studies.  

• My incredible friend back home, H, who is the sweetest, kindest, most compassionate and considerate person. She has supported my study abroad plans since day one and is such a driven and passionate person. Despite not being in Istanbul, she has been integral to my experience of studying abroad.   

• The priests and parishioners at St. Panteleimon, located on the sixth floor of a nondescript walk-up in the Beyoğlu neighborhood.After showing up very late to Vigil one Saturday night, the priests respectively anointed me with Holy Oil and gave me prayer ropes. They were unbelievably kind, communicating with me in broken (again, on my end) Russian, and the choir was beautiful. 

• A new friend, N, whom I met in class this semester. She is a cheerful and sweet person, and her gregariousness is inspiring. 

• The person who translated my passport into Turkish for the residence permit documentation. She translated my passport last semester, too. We had a great discussion in the notary office about language learning and recent events in Istanbul. 

• The landlord who kindly met at the notary’s office on a random Monday afternoon and happily showed me photos of his family. 

• The professors at Bogazici who have been so supportive from day one. They prioritize student learning and make acute efforts to bond with students. It is an honor to participate in and receive valuable life lessons from their classes.  

Frank Capra’s 1944 Christmas classic “It’s a Wonderful Life” delivers a poignant line at the end of the film, reminding the protagonist that “no man is a failure who has friends.” This blog post evidently and in no way matches the joy or profundity of “It’s a Wonderful Life.” However, the film paves the way for perspectives regarding my experiences in Istanbul.   

Istanbul is a city of wonder, overflowing with gorgeous architecture, prepossessing views and an abundance of çay (tea), simit (sesame bread rings) and cats.

But it is the radiant, warm-hearted and tenacious people (not places or items checked off a list) who have been the determining factor during my stay here. It is because of them that studying abroad has been such a gift, and my gratitude for these friendships formed in Istanbul is immeasurable.   

“Çok teşekkür ederim, çok sağol” — Thank you very much, İstanbul (and UT Austin) for the wings, and thank you all for reading along! Have a beautiful rest of your day, or “iyi günler!”

This post was contributed by Molly Dugan, a Global Ambassador for Fall 2024. Molly is a senior studying abroad in Istanbul, Turkey.